


Anniversary Antics

by nymeriahale



Series: Love Apparent [5]
Category: British Comedy RPF, Would I Lie To You? RPF
Genre: Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 19:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1790866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriahale/pseuds/nymeriahale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee has prepared a very special present for his and David's five year anniversary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anniversary Antics

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, finally, the last fic of the series! I should be coming back to write two more fics set prior to this, but this is the last fic timeline-wise. I'm so sorry to the people on tumblr who I told that this fic would be out at the end of last week; life got suddenly very hectic and I got suddenly very picky with the editing. I hope you enjoy it now it's finally up, and sorry again for the long wait!

“Possession,” Lee stated after picking up the card.

“So, you need to take out the box-” Rob began.

“I do know how this game works, Rob,” Lee cut in. “I've been playing it for almost 10 years now.”

“Well, it went away for a year, I have to be sure you remember!” Rob responded, raising his eyebrows to the camera.

David watched with interest, not quite knowing what to expect. As far as he knew, Lee had only submitted one possession to the researchers this year, and that had been used in the last episode. Lee opened the box and took out two tickets, placing them on the desk.

“These,” he began, reading off the card, “are my five year anniversary present to David.” At this point, he looked up to make eye contact with David. “I’ve bought us a flight to Norway, and planned a week long trip around the fjords. We’re going a month today.”

A wave of whispers spread through the audience, none of them quite sure how to react to this. David quickly reigned in the smile that had been spreading across his face, instead cocking his head to one side and looking at Lee doubtfully. “And when you say you planned this trip, you mean we’re going with some ghastly company, am I correct?”

“Nope,” Lee grinned. “I mean I planned it, because I know how much you hate travel agents and being on holiday with other tourists. Or other people in general, really.” 

That got a cautious giggle from the audience, who were still not sure how to react to this turn of events. The quiet of the other panellists and the shocked expression on even Rob’s face didn’t help matters.

“Ah, but you forget that I know how much you hate planning,” David replied. “For example, it doesn’t appear that you’ve planned this very well. Did you forget to tell Rob?” 

“I knew there was someone,” Lee replied, sparking more laughter from the audience. “Hey, Rob, I’m going to give David his anniversary present on the show tonight, just a heads up.”

“Anniversary of what?” Rob asked, very confused.

“… anniversary of our getting together? As a couple? Does that ring any bells, Rob?” Lee asked sarcastically. The confirmation of the news Lee had been trying to announce was greeted by a wave of cheers and applause from the audience, and yet more confusion from Rob.

“I didn’t even know you _were_ together,” Rob insisted, changing the applause of the audience to turn to hysterics in light of his shocked face.

“ _What?!_ ” David and Lee demanded simultaneously, as shocked as Rob had been by their announcement.

“I - _what? How?_ ” David continued. “That’s ridiculous! How can you possibly say that? You walked in on us kissing at the last Christmas party!”

“Yes, but there was mistletoe...” Rob defended.

“Oh, yes, because people not in relationships so often kiss under mistletoe when not being forced to by witnesses,” David retorted. Lee leant back in his chair and watched David with a small smile on his face. He did love David’s rants, especially when there was an element of true frustration in there.

“Well, Tess - I’m not sure if she’ll remember this - but Tess here did actually initiate a kiss under the mistletoe at the last Christmas party, and we were alone then,” Rob claimed, much to Tess’ surprise.

“I don’t remember this, no,” Tess informed them.

“Which would indicate,” David said, starting to get rather worked up, “That she was rather drunk at the time, rather than it being at the beginning of the party when we were both sober. In, in addition to that,” David continued over Rob’s protests. “In addition to that I highly doubt that she did anything more than kiss you on the cheek, am I correct?”

Reluctantly, Rob nodded.

“You know, I was going to ask how you’d managed to stay hidden for five years,” Richard said. “But having heard that story I’m less surprised.”

“We were never hiding!” David exclaimed. “It’s ridiculous! I’ve - we’ve both - _tried_ to out ourselves on occasion, but it seems there’s no way to do so unless you actually make a direct statement. We’ve mentioned living together before on this show, but apart from maybe 5 people on the internet, no one ever _listens!_ ” David began gesticulating wildly in frustration. “You mention that you might be attracted to a guy, or strongly imply that you’re living together, and the only response you’ll get is laughter, because in comedy the concept of two guys being together is only ever good for a laugh.” David concluded on a slightly bitter note, leaning back in his chair as the audience cheered wildly.

“Have I ever mentioned just how much your rants turn me on?” Lee enquired once the audience had quieted slightly.

“You’re even doing it now!” David exclaimed over the audience’s laughter. “You all know we’re together, but the slightest suggestion that Lee might on occasion find me attractive only creates laughter!” He was grinning, though, knowing that this time no one assumed it was a joke. This time, they knew Lee meant it.

“To be fair David, that might just be because it’s you,” Rob interjected.

“Ouch,” David responded, raising his eyebrows.

“Oi!” Lee spoke up, “David’s very good looking, and I bet I’m not the only person in the room who thinks that, am I right?” A few members of the audience cheered heartily in agreement, much to David’s embarrassment. “Well you can’t have him, he’s mine,” Lee told them, grinning.

“Well, anyway, shall we return to Lee’s original statement?” Rob said, trying to keep the show on track.

“Right, yes, you claim to have actually planned a week long holiday,” David began. “Despite your poor planning skills, as evidenced by, well, Rob.”

“Ah, but I never claimed to have planned it well,” Lee pointed out.

“Fair point,” Sarah nodded. “It’s the thought that counts.”

“But you hate planning,” David insisted.

“Ah, but I love you more than I hate planning,” Lee told David lightly, triggering a round of ‘aw’s from Sarah, Miranda and the audience.

David blushed fiercely, “Hang on a minute,” he said as realisation dawned. “Is this going to be your new tactic to guilt me into watching sport with you?”

“Maybe,” Less shrugged, unrepentant. “Would it work?”

“No,” David stated firmly.

“Aw, but don’t you love Lee more than you hate sport?” Sarah asked.

“...well, yes,” David replied, ducking his head slightly and looking across Lee. He’d never said the words in public before, and knowing that he could do so without the risk of it being laughed off as a joke made him brave. “I love Lee more than I hate anything, but I don’t see- I don’t see that that means I need to subject myself to the things that I hate,” David spoke loudly over the audience’s ‘aw’s.

“How am I supposed to paint you as the bad guy when you say things like that?” Lee asked, grinning across at David.

“Well, I imagine admitting to manipulating me isn’t helpful,” David pointed out. 

“Manipulating’s a very strong word, David, I prefer the phrase ‘using all available resources’.”

“What, such as guilt and witnesses?” David raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, exactly.” Lee shrugged.

“You are a shameless man,” Tess interjected, shaking her head.

“We’re getting sidetracked again,” Rob said. “Back to Lee’s statement, if you would.”

“So what made you decide on a trip to Norway?” Richard asked.

“David’s always wanted to see the fjords,” Lee replied simply, shrugging. “He went as a kid but doesn’t remember it, so he’s always wanted to go back.”

“He’s right,” David confirmed. “It really would be a wonderful anniversary present,” he smiled widely. He felt as if he couldn’t stop. They were finally, properly out. There would be no more laughter at the implication that they might be attracted to each other, or live together, or anything else. No more wondering what little thing might finally tip people off, no more feeling like he was hiding one of the most important things in his life, because everyone knew.

“I’m all excited now,” David grinned, then suddenly hit on a tactic that might make Lee tell them the truth. “I suppose the question really is whether you’d dangle a trip you know I desperately want in front of my nose, all as part of a panel game.”

“...You’re a tricky bastard, aren’t you?” Lee said admiringly. “But you know what, I finally made people see we’re together, so you’re not getting me with that! I’ve done something that makes you happy either way.”

“...Damn, I suppose you have.” David conceded, unable to feel bad about it and unable to stop himself smiling fondly at Lee. He sounded so pleased with himself for avoiding David’s trap. 

“David! You’re doing the Face!” Miranda exclaimed, pointing at him.

“What...?” David was briefly confused. “Oh, for- really? Well, if it were ever justified, now would be the time.”

“I just don’t think he can ever be deserving of the Face, though,” Miranda continued, to the confusion of the audience and other panellists.

“I’ll have you know that I am always deserving of the Face,” Lee said haughtily.

“Now that you’ve appropriately demonstrated that you have an inside joke,” Rob began, “would you like to tell the rest of us what exactly ‘the Face’ is?”

“The Face-” Miranda dissolved briefly into giggles, “Do the Face, David, show them the Face!”

“I can’t just do the Face on demand! I hardly ever know I’m doing it!” David replied defensively.

“Lee, do something Face-worthy!” Miranda then demanded.

“Like what?” Lee asked, completely at a loss.

“Oh, I don’t know. Never mind, then.” Miranda said, before moving on to explain regardless. “David’s got this Face,” she began, before breaking down into giggles.

“Yes, we can all - unfortunately - see that,” Rob interjected snarkily.

“Oi!” Lee piped up, “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

“Yes, I know, though I can’t imagine why,” Rob told him.

“Anyway.” Miranda said firmly before the two could start fighting. “The Face is a particular expression David gets sometimes when he looks at Lee. It’s longer title is the ‘I’m So In Love With You, You Can Always Make Me Smile, I Think You’re Perfect’ Face. But sometimes it’s also the ‘You’re So Dumb, I Love You So Much’ Face. It’s a very complicated thing,” she nodded seriously.

“Aww, isn’t that lovely,” Rob smiled while David ducked his head, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Lee, on the other hand, was grinning broadly.

“So as you can see,” Lee said loudly. “I am always deserving of the Face.”

“In that you’re always being dumb, yes, I suppose you do,” Rob agreed readily. “Hang on a minute,” he continued after a brief pause, “Does this mean that you already knew they were together, Miranda?”

“Yep,” she confirmed happily. “I actually guessed it after my first appearance on this show after they’d got together. I can’t believe you missed it! Clearly the crew and writers know.”

“Yes, yes, well... David’s team, I’m going to have to push you for an answer!” Rob quickly moved on.

“Right, well,” David straightened up, glancing between Sarah and Richard. “I just don’t think he’d say he’d booked us a trip to Norway unless he had. He wouldn’t actually dangle that it front of me so cruelly,” here he shot Lee a brief grin.

“Yeah, well, you think he’s perfect, so we can ignore your judgement,” Richard quipped.

“I don’t think he’s perfect, it’s just... my face. Sarah,” David quickly moved on, turning away from Richard. “What do you think?”

“I think you know him best, and I would be inclined to agree with you that he wouldn’t make up an anniversary present,” Sarah replied.

“Well, in that case,” David turned to Rob. “We think it’s true.”

“Okay then. Lee,” Rob said. “Is this the truth, or were you spinning us a lie?”

“It is, in fact, true,” Lee made eye contact with David as he pushed the button, bringing up the green light behind him. “Hey Miranda,” he piped up, not looking away. “I think I’ve got something Face worthy.”

“You think you can do something here, something broadcastable on national television,” Rob clarified sarcastically, “that will make David look at you in a way that says -” 

“That says ‘I’m So In Love With You, You Can Always Make Me Smile, I Think You’re Perfect,” Miranda supplied.

“Yep,” Lee confirmed, still maintaining eye contact with David.

“Oh, do we have to? I’m sure it’s a stupid expression,” David protested, but he didn’t look away.

“Go on then, let’s see it,” Rob prompted.

“I love you,” Lee said sincerely, trying to pack all he’d ever felt for David into that one simple phrase. David ducked his head, breaking eye contact briefly before glancing up to meet Lee’s gaze once more. 

“I’m so in love with you,” Lee continued, packing equal amounts of sincerity into every phrase. “You can always make me smile,” and here he did smile fondly, returning to utter sincerity for the final point, “I think you’re perfect.”

David felt his expression soften into something fond, something desperately tender, a small smile spreading across his face. He knew it must be the face, but he just didn’t care. “I love you too,” he replied, equally sincere. “But perfect!? You must be out of your mind!” he proclaimed suddenly, causing Lee to burst into stunned laughter.

“God, I really do love you,” Lee repeated through his laughter, fondness and amusement equally clear in his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> (The 'Rob walking in on them at the Christmas party' incident was meant to be last year's Christmas fic, and I am now hoping to post it next Christmas! Maybe.)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic, constructive criticism is always welcome :)


End file.
